Terrible Tinder Openers

Tinder conversations are usually always hit or miss. But some tinder openers that guys can come up with are particularly cringe-worthy. Thanks to my own and my friends’ misadventures with the app, I have plenty of screenshots of some terrible opening lines – and some pretty impressive comebacks – to share. I sifted through all the ‘what would you do if I was there? ;)’s and the ‘wanna hook-up’s and picked out the best of the best.

1.    I guess you become instantly unattractive if you don’t reply immediately.

Sean: Hey

Girl: Whats up?

S: Just watching movies, you?

(two days later)

G: I swiped right because I thought you were attractive at first. Sorry.

2.    This guy didn’t even bother with pleasantries.

Greg: Sit on my face

3.    Someone’s intense… but still managed to fall short

Josh: I would do hand to hand combat with a pack of wild wolves inside a handicapped bathroom at the local McDonalds with my hands tied behind my back just for a chance to watch you eat a grilled cheese sandwich

Girl: I hate grilled cheese, wtf ew…

Girl: And you know, handicap bathrooms are pretty roomy. It’d be more impressive in a regular stall…

4.    Well, that from zero to a hundred real fast

Tyler: “I asked Siri what I should say to a cute girl, guess what she said?”

Girl: “What?”

“That you Auto-Complete me.”

“Haha, that’s a good one!”

(A couple of hours later)

“So are we gonna fuck or not?”

5.    I accidentally matched this guy and then I realized who he was. He dated my best friend for a while and after told everyone she was hoe… but I guess he still hoped he could homie hop?

Mike: “Hey, how are you!?”

Girl: “Um, Do you not remember me? I’m –Blurred –‘s friend?”

M: “Oh yeah! Wanna hang out?”

-I unmatched him-

6.    Less than a mile away and very persistent.

Steve: Hey


Wanna come over?

Do you live on campus?

Which dorms do you live in?

(Above all within an hour of each other)

What are you up to today?

You free later?



(Bottom four all within an hour of each other the next day)

7.    I don’t even know what to make of this one…

Eric: I hope this isn’t a deal breaker for you, but I’m really bad with citrus fruits…”

8.    Yes, This actually happened. Frat boys, right?

Kevin: Hey, you look familiar did we have class together?!

Anna: Um, I was your date to your fraternity semi-formal.

9.    And I saved the best for last… Just some quick background information: My friend Janelle has a pretty awesome nickname

Jonny: How do you feel about anal?

Janelle: They do call me Janal

Jonny: Please tell me you’re single.

Next Blog Post: 3 Tips for Meet and Fuck Sites Or Check out the video below to learn more about terrible tinder opening lines