How to Attract Guys Without Being a Total Flirt


When getting your flirt on, looking desperate is every girl’s nightmare. As soon as guys catch a whiff of it on you, they scatter, and that’s the last thing you want when you’re looking to attract a suitor or two. There’s a fine line between looking available and looking like a total desperate flirt, here’s a couple of tricks to help you walk that very line.

  1. Calm your tits: Presentation is key. If you’re walking around with a little more than a little cleavage and your booty hanging out of your shorts, you’re going to come across as attention seeking. Reduce the boobage to a minimum or pick boobs or legs. In the heat of summer, I understand it’s hard not just to walk around in something tinier than your underwear, but try to keep it on the classier side. If you’re in danger of flashing anyone, consider making a wardrobe change.
  2. Making an entrance: Whether you’re walking into a club, the office, or Starbucks you want to ensure that everyone knows you’ve arrived. Roll your shoulders back, engage your core a little bit, keep your neck long, and just think ‘slay.’ Everyone notices confidence. Plus, it’s an effortless way to get those heads turning.
  3. Do The Hair Thing: Now that you have them looking, give them something to keep their interest. That’s right; you know exactly what I’m talking about. Do The Hair Thing. That’s right, sweep that loose strand back over your shoulder. Oh, that guy is looking at you? Perfect, hit him with a hair twirl. Touching your hair is a clear sign of interest in someone. So guys if you’re reading, yes that girl who’s always playing with her hair when you’re around is definitely into you. What are you waiting for? Make a move.
  4. The smile-and-look-away move: The effortless companion to The Hair Thing is The Smile-and-look-away. This is another simple but more noticeable flirting technique that’ll let a guy know you’re interested. Once you’ve locked eyes with the cute barista or that dude at the bar, you guessed it, smile and look away. Bat your eyelashes a little when you look down and away. Try to give off a cute and bashful vibe, let him know that his interest has you a little giddy.
  5. Get touchy: Assuming that the aforementioned cute guy has come over and talked to you, or is at the very least making his way over, your next move is to touch him. Don’t full on grab anything yet; your goal is to make a couple of points of contact during your conversation. Aim for around three, any more may look a little desperate. Touch his arm or his knee when you’re talking to him. Brush his hand “accidentally”. If your hands are a little clammy be sure to wipe them off subtly on your clothes or a napkin.
  6. Neutral Convo Topics: When you’re talking stick to neutral subjects. If he’s a sports guy and you love basketball capitalize on that. Talk about the kinds of music you like; you might have something in common. Stay away from political and religious topics like the plague unless you’re out campaigning or at bible study. Even then not every Democrat or Christian will agree on everything. And be sure to stay away from overly sexual or vulgar topics. Otherwise, you might come off as a sex-hungry nympho.
  7. Master phone flirting: The best way to keep your subtle flirtation going, or even start it with an acquaintance, is to flirt via your phone. Social media and texting are your best friend, but don’t exploit them. If there’s a lull in contact, send him a cute little text or a Snapchat. Send him a couple of cute selfies or something that reminds you of him. Even include him on your mass Snapchats. This is an excellent way to keep him thinking about you even when you’re not around. Just be careful not to go too overboard, you don’t want to get blocked for acting like a cyber-stalker.
  8. Kinda ask him out: So you want to hang out with this guy, but you don’t want to look starved for attention. You can still invite him out! But make sure it’s out with friends. Inviting him to parties or group functions is a fantastic way to get to know him and for him to see you transform into a social butterfly. It also keeps him from misinterpreting any signals. You don’t want to ask him over to Netflix and chill because he might think you want something less than serious. Inviting him out to hang out with a group of people lets him know you want to spend time with him while keeping him from thinking you’re hungry to meet and fuck for his attention and affection.
  9. And above all else… Let him make the “First Move”: Guys will often mistake a girl making the first move for desperation. The key is to let him think he’s making the first move when in actuality you’ve been paving the way the whole time. There are a few subtle things you can do such as opening up your body language and controlling your movements in an elegant way that will exude the kind of flirty, available energy that guys pick up on. Allow him to be the one that starts the conversation. Keep the subtle vibe of flirtation going by touching him a little and talking about things other than dating and sex. Once you have his digits, keep him interested until the next time you invite him to hang out with you and some friends. A guy will want to be the one to ask you out on the first date, so keep letting him know you’re interested until he does so. Let him think he’s the playmaker when in fact you’ve been making moves just under his radar.